my life is a never ending cycle of test and due dates. i feel like all i do these days is worry about what's due or what i have to study for. this worry is causing tons of stress, which is leading to the slow start of sickness. i hate being sick. i need rest. i need to be still. i need time to just not think. now don't get me wrong everything else in my life is going great. i have the best friends in the world and a family who loves me. i love my professors and the classes themselves i just wish i didn't have to worry so much about all of the work i have to do in those classes.
my spiritual life is slacking big time. i hate that i think i am good sometimes. i have a problem with that. thinking i'm all good when the only goodness inside of me is Jesus Christ and what he did for me. i need to turn to Jesus. i let my pride get in the way of my service and my spiritual disciplines. i want my desires to be those of Christ and not myself. This past week I heard a quote that said : "It's not your plan. It's God's plan, and there will be suffering and pain. But it's the best plan." i know this statement to be true. i haven't suffered nearly as bad as tons of people in the world today. i have become a selfish person and i need to get back to the basics of things. i don't want my pride to get in the way of anything. my life is no longer mine. let's just see what will happen.
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